It's been awhile and life has been crazy, crazy here. Can't go into details but it is really, really messed up. The stress of a very sick daughter, the birth of my 6th child, a festival accomplished and successful, all got to me in a great moment of reflection. I am nearly 40 years old and have too much unhappiness in my life. I decided to make some very scary changes and find out who "I" am. Seems people around me didn't like this idea so well and unnecessary war was waged and people have shown me to be very ... well .... horrid. My life is forever changed. Onward, to a new path. Gotta heal for a bit first before I can move forward.
On the good side, I did discover, quite accidentally, that I may probably have Celiac!? One email I get on a regular basis is all about gallbladder health and symptoms. One recent email was about celiac and some 'hidden' symptoms. My 2nd daughter has studied about celiac and has taken herself off wheat and has totally felt better and her skin has cleared up. Her main symptoms when eating wheat has been major brain fog, joint pain and pimply skin. Sadly, I haven't really studied up on the condition (or is it considered a disease?) Anyway, for quite a few years I would break out on my legs with a rash that resembles shingels very closely, but without the pain. Severely itching, angry red liquid filled blistery rash on my legs. HORRID itching that seemed to spread. NOTHING I did naturally or homeopathically seemed to help one bit. I would suffer a couple months and then it would just go away. Thought maybe it was poison ivy the dog or cat would bring in on their hair until I broke out while on vacation. Hmm. It has been a couple years and no rash, so I figured it was just one of those things. A couple weeks ago, my eldest daughter broke out with the same rash!!? Freaky! Not as bad as me, tho, but identical. A couple weeks later, it went away.
OK, back to that gallbladder email I received talked about Dermatitis Herpetiformis. THAT RASH now has a name?! OMG! Totally relates to celaic?!! Could be why the rash stopped appearing, although, I thought I was decently gluten-free during my last outbreak. I still occasionaly inbibe in small amounts here and there(onion rings ... yummm...), but really have no desire to eat much by way of wheat products so it's not a biggie. Now armed with this new knowledge, I am more cautious about those little cheats.
Most grains, tho, seem to cause me gut disturbance so I avoid most of them. Corn, of all grains (eeeegh) seems to be the only one I can eat?! I still drink the RAW MEAL smoothies several times a day or so. Been doing a modified HCG protocol again (I'll talk about that in a future post) and I'm still losing fat. Got that old lady arm skin hanging... :-/. Never had that before because my arm fat NEVER went down very much while on any weight loss protocol. (there could be a 'spiritual' side to this as I have learned that people holding onto fat in their arms have a sense of never being able to give love like they feel they need. Belly fat is the feeling they have never been loved like they deserved ... "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die" by Karol K. Truman) My body is completely changing again. For the better, but I am freaking out a little. I don't recognize myself some days! LOL! But I am SOOO happy that my arms are going down. Funny how big arms can make a person feel so huge in pictures! But it's also in the fit of clothing too. Today's fashions seems to be soo unflattering to anyone without boney arms. Another place I'm losing is the chest boob area. Makes the ladies seems smaller.. I can no longer wear my pirate stays and balance cups on my chest! lol! But I still fit a DDD cup. Go figure? strange happenings going on! The next few months will be interesting for sure.
Side note: HCG and nursing... jury is out, but the common consensus is that hcg will reduce milk supply. Mostly on the fact of calorie reduction causes milk supplcy reduction. I have issues with this because how do women in starving or very low calorie situations (war, famine, etc) still provide for babies? I tend to believe that our bodies will sacrifice for the good of the next generation. So yeah, our teeth and hair and bones will take the brunt of feeding our young ones. So that's my 2 cents on that one. I did notice a problem with my milk supply with the last baby, but I was also under EXTREME stress in my personal life which also can contribute to the decreased supply. As big as my boobs are, I have almost always struggled with supply so it was nothing new for me to experience. (I get TONS of comments that my big boobs means I have lotsa milk... ugh.. people ... get educated... it's not about the size!! lol!)
So after the last baby, I decided to corset my belly to see if that helps pull in the belly and to my happy surprise.. IT DID! I had this thought that since everything inside was being pushed around by the baby, if I only corseted my midsection long enough, maybe things would stay IN instead of getting pushed back out. IT WORKED! I was able to see great results in a more reduced waistline than I have had in a LONG time!! Squeee!! That was sooo exciting! I did a round of hcg a few months after baby last year to help tighten up loose skin everywhere and it did a good job. Even with that horrid momma belly hanging down!!
I really think taking time to work on my adrenals, gallbladder and thyroid was VERY important to all this. I do feel much happier inside, my brain fog is not as common anymore, my thyroid tests seems to be all 'normal', I sleep better and the weight does not seem to be packing on like it used to.
Only thing that hasn't happened, that I was hoping for, would be a reduction in spondylitis problems. That has gotten worse. :-( To the point I seems to be blowing disks more and more often. Did a doozy in May. Woke up one morning with a kink in my neck that curled me right over within a week, severe nerve pain shooting down my arm. I was unable to hardly move for over a month. Definitely wanted to die. Couple blown disks were pushing on nerves. Thankfully I found a physical therapist that was able to loosen my back enough to make life bareable again. He said my back, hips and pelvis were all in really bad shape. Been working on me weekly since May (5 months now!). So that is that. Seems I've hit the downward spiral age of spondy. Ticks me off quite a bit, but been working on bettering my life so I can look back and not think that this disease stole too much from me at such an early age.
Ok, well, the baby bubs is getting into everything and I must get off the computer before he escapes his big brothers and gets on the table to push the off button!
I will be back and see if I can post some pictures comparing myself recently with the time I did hcg years ago the first time when I was actually 20 lbs lighter! Crazy to see how it is different this time. Here's a recent one of me.. notice the old-lady arm skin hanging under my arm! LOL! The whole side-boob-under-arm area is going away too. These are maybe not the best pics of me, but shows very well how the loss is going upstairs. 184 pounds here a couple weeks ago the first two images. The purple & pink are from last night. My rear and legs are pretty amazing too when comparing a few years ago. Not able to show any more than this at the moment, but soon...!
This one below was taken a couple weeks earlier. I don't see the same skin hanging, and then remember as I lose, things get loose, wobbly and kinda gross. It's hard to push thru that stage.
These two (purple n pink) I took last night.
OK! I found a good past picture! (I got big again and stopped getting pictures of me) Computer broke, so trying to find images on all these external hard drives is not easy! Here's when I was at 207lbs Oct 2011 when I announced the pregnancy of my 6th child (notice the symbolism in the picture! LOL!) Second pic is a week or less before the baby was born in Aug 2012. I delivered at 207 lbs! (Baby and birthing things weigh about 20-30 lbs. For the first time ever I lost after birth and kept it off... went down to 170 in the months following!
And here's the link to me at 165 at the USMC Ball in 2008 when I was on a roll! lol!
Quite different I looked back then! I've gotta scan a different one in where I didn't crop out my large arms and post it when I can.