Saturday, September 27, 2008

squishy fat, squishy fat

The strangest part of this protocol is the 'squishy fat'. It is VERY loose & wiggly-jiggly. Much like jello. I am very grossed out right now because of all the puff-n-stuff because it is so THERE. This is a good thing to go thru because I know within the next few days or possibly weeks, I'll be going down inches again as the hcg men are working to reduce the fat cells and lose the water for that final flush.

Today I am up 1.6 lbs because of TOM cycle starting and I had a date with hubby last night & ate off protocol a bit. It is good to be re-connecting with each other. We've lost a lot these past few years of busy-ness and falling away, into our routines of life and chaos. Now our oldest is able to babysit and we're able to re-connect again.

My trip to Boston was renewing & an awakening for me personally. I am very muc changed inside, in a good way. In a way I have been desiring for my whole life. I feel confident & free. I wonder how much of it is related to the changes of my hcg journey?

I'll be placing an order tonight for hcg that will hopefully be my last order. I am hoping to be done before November. My goal was to be done so I could celebrate with hubby at the Marine Corps Birthday Ball with my slim bod. But with how slow I have been going lately, I don't know if I will make it.....snif.. sigh..

But I've realized these past few months of stalling myself have been my own internal issues of dealing with the weightloss. It has taken me time to get used to the new size and the complete sucess of the protocol. I wasn't ready to hit the 150's. My trip to Boston has helped me heal & get thru that. It was like being in a rock & a hard place. I WANTED to be thin quicker, but inside, I really wasn't ready, I guess.

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